It may not always look this way, but as social creatures, people are inherently capable of getting along with those around them. We all have times when we “play well with others,” yet we have moments when we find ourselves lost or stuck in our relationships. This is normal and happens to everyone in every relationship. It can get out of hand and become a chronic dynamic. This is the cause of divorce, it can end friendships.
It is based on a lack of understanding about how relationships work and it can be turned around, no matter how bad or how long it’s gone on.
View a webinar I recorded:
How to Find Strength from Yourself
and Draw it out of Your Partner
in Trying Times
You have a tremendous amount going for you as a partner, you just take it for granted
Whether we use it or not, each of us has the capacity to handle a difficult person objectively, take our friends and spouses’ shortcomings in stride, and love someone more than ever before. This capacity comes and goes within our own minds, and my programs are designed to mobilize this potential that lies in wait, yet at times comes so naturally to us all. As we see this phenomenon for ourselves, it changes us such that we are able to view the relationship differently and handle things differently with the other person.
One person can turn a relationship around, really.
I work with couples but I often work with one person in a relationship. Sometimes it's because the other person is not willing, but often it's because the more motivated person in the relationship (you, because you're the one reading this!) wants to change things. You can. Even when I work with couples I work with them as individuals so each person in a relationship can see their part. You can begin this process with one and that can be better. Less pressure and a chance for you to get clear on what you want.
Note: All programs can be done in person in my office in La Conner, Washington State, or virtually via video calls
5 Session coaching package: Just You: to get clarity and strength
Husband, daughter, son, mother in law, boss or coworker. There are a lot of people that are built into our lives that cause us a lot of hurt and pain. Although we are often stuck with those people, there’s a lot we can do about how much they affect us. I can help you shift your thinking about that person so they get to you less. In addition to feeling less oppressed by them, you also will feel clearer and stronger and can make better decisions about how to structure your time with them. There is freedom in this relationship even if you feel stuck. And you’ll be surprised how sometimes when you get out from old patterns the other person responds in ways that you may not have expected.
4-Day Couples Intensive: When you're both ready
If you want big impact you can consider a 4 day intensive program on site in La Conner. This program gives a couple (or an individual looking for clarity and power in a relationship) the rare opportunity to disengage from their daily lives and immerse themselves in a process that focuses on each person individually as well as the relationship itself. This program is built on the idea that if each person starts thinking more clearly, more objectively, and with more common sense, the relationship changes entirely. Phone intake, follow-up, and materials are included in this program. This program is offered year-round, seven days a week.
Independent learning for the disciplined person
There is an online course that I developed that is excellent and has the potential to turn any relationship around with just one person (although it works great when both participate). This course is comprehensive and teaches you everything you would learn in a 4 day intensive program with me. It is multimedia, engaging, fun and impactful. The reviews are excellent. It is fully downloadable and a fraction of the cost of getting help through one-on-one programs. However, it does require discipline and doesn't have the contact and responsiveness that some people require to be able to take things in. You can do the course with coaching if you'd like to combine the modalities. Click here to read more about it.
Please contact me for a complementary consult to inquire about which program makes most sense for you and your situation.
Because every person and every relationship is different, the impact from my programs shows up in a variety of ways, and the results can be subtle and incremental, or huge and instantaneous. Yet on the most basic level, I see tremendous commonalities in my clients, including the potential for more closeness, good-will, enjoyment, and stability in their relationships. These are all qualities that arise naturally through an organic, instinctive process regardless of the history of the relationship.
Whether people get carried away in insecurity, fear, resentment, skepticism, or blame, we all find ourselves equally lost, and we all share the same potential to come out the other side. Regardless of personality type, compatibility issues, or all the water under the bridge, I consistently see a shift within each person, resulting in a level of openness, humility, consideration, and accountability. What this means to us is that everyone has yet to reach the limit of having the strong, connected relationships they want. The potential is endless, no matter what.
In the words of my clients
“I always felt it was someone or something else in my life that was the cause of my unhappiness and dissatisfaction. In my work with Kara I fully accepted, beyond my prior intellectual understanding, how I had created most of my own pain. It wasn’t coming from outside of me – I was creating it from the inside. This awareness allowed me to experience warm and loving feelings in significant relationships that had been fraught with challenges and difficulty. To be free from the pain of constant negativity, judgment, and criticism was immensely pleasurable, blissful, even euphoric.”
Susan, wife, mother and active community volunteer
"While it is too early to tell the benefits in my job, on a personal note they are many... my last example is just a different feeling I have when being with my wife of 41 years. There is an inner peace and happiness. I cannot put words to this feeling, it just exists, like an inner glow and brings my level of well-being to a very high state and I like it."
Gary, Program Manager, IT Services Company
“When my marriage fell apart I was referred to Kara by my brother-in-law. I attended an intense 4-day counseling session in La Conner and read The Relationship Handbook. The new way of thinking revealed by this encounter allowed me to forgive my former spouse and myself and ultimately enter into a healthy, giving relationship where no one struggles to win and we, in fact, compete to out give each other.”
Becky, wife and mother